The Serial Quitter

“A quitter never wins and a winner never quits”


I can't tell you how many times I've heard this saying.


I run cross country, and there have been times when during a race, my hands tense, my breathing becomes painful and raspy, and the world around me starts to blur as I try to successfully finish with a new best time. Why don't I stop? Because of the fear that I will be viewed as a quitter, someone who wasn't strong enough or had enough will power to push through and finish the race. And so, despite these potentially dangerous side effects, I have never cut any race short. And I don't plan on doing so any time soon.


So does quitting ever override?


I started in the school band in the 5th grade. Both my brothers had played instruments all throughout junior high and into high school, so it wasn't really an option not to do the same. I too continued, but completely unhappily. I didn't enjoy it. I hated playing my instrument, I hated the kind of commitment it included, and I hated practicing (not that I ever did). However, I stuck it out. It wasn't until after my sophomore year that I finally did what I had been dreaming about doing for years... I quit. 


At first I was embarrassed. Regardless of my lack of interest, I had still invested so much time, effort and my parents' money into this activity that quitting seemed like throwing everything out the window. I felt that quitting made my previous 6 years of band a waste of time, and that was time I would never and will never get back. And since then, I've wondered if I did the right thing. 


A Freakonomics Podcast titled "The Upside of Quitting" offered some insight onto my issue.


Stephen Dubner, the show's host,  has a very different view than I previously did. He says, 


"My thesis is simple: in our zeal to 'tough things out,' to keep our nose to the grindstone, in our zeal to win, we underestimate the upside of quitting." 

He refers to himself as a "serial quitter," saying he's quit his dream job as a NY Times writer, his childhood dream job as a member of a successful rock band, and even his religion, but not once does he describe any guilt or second thoughts for quitting any one of these things. He is confident with his decisions to quit, with absolutely no regrets. 

I know that many Americans, like me, do have trouble with the idea of quitting. There is this negative connotation with quitting. It doesn't seem to matter why you quit , just the fact that you quit makes you automatically considered unsuccessful. Quitting is commonly associated with failure, and Americans don't want to be associated with or seen as a failure. The reality of the situation is that many people are willing to sacrifice their own happiness because of a deep fear of being seen as a "quitter." It's sad, but it's the reality. And I'm sure that, as an American, that part of the culture has rubbed off on me.

Dubner ends the podcast with an insightful outlook:

 “Of course it takes tremendous amounts of time and effort and, for lack of a more scientific word, stick-to-itiveness, to make any real progress in the world. But time and effort and even stick-to-itiveness are not in infinite supply. Remember the opportunity cost: every hour, every ounce of effort you spend here cannot be spent there... Stella Adler, the great acting coach, used to say: Your choice is your talent. So choosing the right path, the right project, the right job or passion or religion — that’s where the treasure lies; that’s where the value lies. So if you realize that you’ve made a wrong choice — even if already you’ve sunk way too much cost into it — well, I’ve got one word to say to you, my friend. Quit."

I can definitely relate to Stella Adler when it comes to my band experience: I realized that I made a wrong choice - even when I already sunk way too much "cost" into it - and had to quit. I know that I didn't "give up" - I put six years into it, and at some point I realized that I was never really going to enjoy the experience and that the "opportunity cost" was too high. Unlike Stephen Dubner, I do feel a bit of guilt about my decision, but not so much that I would ever reconsider. It will be interesting to see if these kinds of decisions in my life get any easier as I get older and there's more at stake in the outcome.